dijous, 30 de juliol de 2009

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever

Mark Twain said "Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth."

I've been told I write about the past, but...

What would be "The Fight Club" without the introduction about insomnia? Just a story about chaos
What would be "Memento" if you were never told about Lenny's wife? Just a serie of messy tattoos, notes and polaroid picture
What if Derek Vinyard never explained what brought him to his self-destruction and his penitence? "American History X" would be just a panflet
If the Klingenfeldt did'nt have a secret from the past kept for too long, wouldn't "Festen" be just a Birthday party home movie?
Tool begins "Lateralus", one of his most revealing lyrics, with the sentence "Black then white are, all I see in my infancy" to be able to move forward until we reach the point when he explains us his "will to feel this moment, urging me to cross the line".
Glen being Glenda and viceversa leads us to realize about how complex life can be, despite the simplicity of Ed Wood's piece of art.
The most distutbing moment of Albee's Who's afraid of Virginia Wolf is when pain comes to surface, a pain from the past, as well.

I talk too much about cinema, literature and music because some of my best memories are related to them, as well as my best moments in present are linked to a whisper in my ear while I'm writing, oscula in the darkness of a cinema, listening to music in a club, in my bed, in a room or just as she sings for her soul, as when we remember how to breathe, speak and sing the way we were born to, we can only rediscover how to use our own voices.

I don't talk about my past, whereas I talk abour how my past built a path to my today as my today is a bunch of yellow bricks to my tomorrow. And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

dimarts, 28 de juliol de 2009

Bidding our time

I used to think my dreams had faded like smoke from cigars and to search for a hope I used to stare at the stars without reaching any kind of a clear answer. I used to feel daze from the chaos born from my own thoughts and I ate my own creations as an earthly Saturn, spit blood like a second range boxer and tore my flesh from my bones. Darkness was lit by candles until they burnt the remains of the day. I wrote and wrote just to realize I had a bigger inner urge for writing and then reread seeing nothing was the way I thought it would be and be blinded by red tears.

I have sit too many times smoking the last cigarette and watching the smoke go by until I came to be who I am today, until I got some peace of mind to thank or forgive those who deserve greatfulness or forgiveness, and to forget those who should be forgotten as a bad movie, a bad book, a bad song, as a long passed bitter memory.

Now, here I am to stay. Will you dare to swallow the seeds of my weed?

dilluns, 20 de juliol de 2009

Tracing lost footsteps

Sitting in front of the window, watching the smoke of my cigarette drawing circles once again, crossed by a ray of light as dawn is approaching, hearing the tickling of a distant clock second after second.

My smile, so cracked not long ago enough to forget the reasons, has healed by the effects of another smile and the fact that my brain is blown away by a bullet made from past memories leads to a stream of thoughts that overflows becoming a flood in my home, watering new roots, leaving no room for despair. I light another cigarette and reach the exit to a new consciousness.

Disembody, search the limits, spit blood into the sky and swallow it back.

dilluns, 13 de juliol de 2009

Mathhew 19:14

I gave her one, they gave him two,
You gave us three or more;
They all returned from him to you,
Though they were mine before.
If I or she should chance to be
Involved in this affair,
He trusts to you to set them free,
Exactly as we were.
I've had nothing yet, so I can't take more.
You mean can't take less;
it's easy to take more than nothing.

Reverend Duckworth row the boat again
Let Charles take a picture of the little girl
Alice, dressed up as a beggar-maid
sweety Liddle there’s no reason to be scared
You are only four but he can be your friend
Off their heads!!

There was a roaring in the wind all night;
The rain came heavily and fell in floods;
Even as these blissful creatures do I fare;
Far from the world I walk, and from all care;
But there may come another day to me--
Solitude, pain of heart

Would not, could not, would not,
could not, could not join the dance.